Depression
People think being happy is situational. You're either happy or you're not. There are three main feelings that you're allowed to feel: happy, sad, or mad. But that's not it. Those three feelings don't amount to the feelings that are available. There's anxiety, there's depression, there are these feelings that is kind of hard for other people to discuss - that is kind of hard to discuss because people don't know how to discuss it.
In my personal life, I feel like I'm a burden just by bringing up those words and my problems to anyone. Depression. Anxiety. Those are all intense words that can cripple a person and perhaps haunt them to the core. However, no one really cares. I've learned that it doesn't matter because if it's not a part of their lives, they shy away from it. I've asked myself the same question every single day for the past few years. Why would they care about me? Why do I exist? Why do I matter? Why should any of these things matter to them if it's not apart of their lives.
I'm just a singular person made up of ordinary cells. Scientifically, depression is a lack of serotonin in the brain, which means this "feel good" chemical doesn't really have the same numbers for depressed people that people that have always had a happy life have. But why would this matter to the happy people in a depressed person's life? They're all so happy with their beautiful, Midwestern lives. Why would they care if your life is a little bit more dark. They don't know what to do when you get a little extra sad. They don't know how to react when you stop them and say "hey, I have depression" because they generally have happy lives and they assume "oh, they're just sad. they can get better with time. Grow up. Oh, you're just always acting like a victim. Like we don't have problems just like you." or things of that variation. No, no, a million times no. Depression is not sadness, and sadness is not depression. You can get over sadness with a few hours with your friends or seeing a comedic movie. But depression? Depression can take years to actually get a handle of, if you even get the chance to. There are similar aspects of sadness and depression, but it's so much easier to explain why you're sad. Depression can be unexplainable, so much so that there may be times when you just have to stay silent about it all. Depression can even isolate you from the things you love, and if you have anxiety as well, it can be a complete and overwhelming numbness that requires professional help. Both feelings are completely valid, but if someone opens up to you and says that they're depressed, people automatically think that it's just sadness and you can fix it just like that when that's not even the case. People always ask me "have you gotten over that depression yet?" when it's not something you can just get over. Most people don't understand and I don't have the time to sit down and explain word for word what it is when I'm dealing with something quite real.
But like I said, why would it matter when it's not you being depressed, when it's not you suffering. Here, in this world, I can only seriously deal with my own problems my own way and no one seems to care that I'm continuously drowning. They say I'm depressed because maybe that will get me attention, and that is the only reason why I'm depressed. I am completely sick and tired of people saying that I'm a victim just because I'm depressed and they don't understand it. Pick up a fucking book, read about it. If you actually give a damn, you'll find a way to learn more about it. Maybe instead of harassing me to tell you about my health issues (that can be both mental and physical), you can pick up a fucking book or watch a video that can explain how to help. Maybe actually trying to help would help. Or is that an unknown notion to you?
In my personal life, I feel like I'm a burden just by bringing up those words and my problems to anyone. Depression. Anxiety. Those are all intense words that can cripple a person and perhaps haunt them to the core. However, no one really cares. I've learned that it doesn't matter because if it's not a part of their lives, they shy away from it. I've asked myself the same question every single day for the past few years. Why would they care about me? Why do I exist? Why do I matter? Why should any of these things matter to them if it's not apart of their lives.
I'm just a singular person made up of ordinary cells. Scientifically, depression is a lack of serotonin in the brain, which means this "feel good" chemical doesn't really have the same numbers for depressed people that people that have always had a happy life have. But why would this matter to the happy people in a depressed person's life? They're all so happy with their beautiful, Midwestern lives. Why would they care if your life is a little bit more dark. They don't know what to do when you get a little extra sad. They don't know how to react when you stop them and say "hey, I have depression" because they generally have happy lives and they assume "oh, they're just sad. they can get better with time. Grow up. Oh, you're just always acting like a victim. Like we don't have problems just like you." or things of that variation. No, no, a million times no. Depression is not sadness, and sadness is not depression. You can get over sadness with a few hours with your friends or seeing a comedic movie. But depression? Depression can take years to actually get a handle of, if you even get the chance to. There are similar aspects of sadness and depression, but it's so much easier to explain why you're sad. Depression can be unexplainable, so much so that there may be times when you just have to stay silent about it all. Depression can even isolate you from the things you love, and if you have anxiety as well, it can be a complete and overwhelming numbness that requires professional help. Both feelings are completely valid, but if someone opens up to you and says that they're depressed, people automatically think that it's just sadness and you can fix it just like that when that's not even the case. People always ask me "have you gotten over that depression yet?" when it's not something you can just get over. Most people don't understand and I don't have the time to sit down and explain word for word what it is when I'm dealing with something quite real.
But like I said, why would it matter when it's not you being depressed, when it's not you suffering. Here, in this world, I can only seriously deal with my own problems my own way and no one seems to care that I'm continuously drowning. They say I'm depressed because maybe that will get me attention, and that is the only reason why I'm depressed. I am completely sick and tired of people saying that I'm a victim just because I'm depressed and they don't understand it. Pick up a fucking book, read about it. If you actually give a damn, you'll find a way to learn more about it. Maybe instead of harassing me to tell you about my health issues (that can be both mental and physical), you can pick up a fucking book or watch a video that can explain how to help. Maybe actually trying to help would help. Or is that an unknown notion to you?
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